{"id":1711,"date":"2012-06-16T09:18:11","date_gmt":"2012-06-16T08:18:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lanawooster.co.uk\/blog\/?p=1711"},"modified":"2012-06-16T09:18:11","modified_gmt":"2012-06-16T08:18:11","slug":"a-day-in-the-life-of-an-astrologer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.lanawooster.co.uk\/?p=1711","title":{"rendered":"A Day in the Life of an Astrologer"},"content":{"rendered":"

~ A time and Motion Study<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[The Uranus-Pluto square is almost upon us and next week I will be putting on a suitable gruff voice.\u00a0 So I thought this week I would put on a hysterical falsetto voice\u2026]<\/p>\n

8 a.m. – Arise and have breakfast, read the Guardian<\/p>\n

According to Sabra Ricci in \u201cLobster for Leos, Cookies for Capricorns\u201d Sagittarians do well to have apples (for detox) and cinnamon (for lowering blood sugar), so I put them into porridge.<\/p>\n

9 a.m. –\u00a0 Reply to daily email inbox: This takes half an hour because the computer is getting doddery, and keeps seizing up.\u00a0 This is distressing, knowing that all the research is stored on it.<\/p>\n

9.30 a.m. – Cold Call no. 1:
\n“Hello this is just a courtesy call about your PPI…”
\nMe: “More like a discourtesy call.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have a PPI” (Moon in Libra graces have just gone out of the window)<\/p>\n

10 a.m. \u2013 A trip to the locally sourced Supermarket for provisions.\u00a0 Imagine my surprise when opening the vegetarian cabinet I find that Linda McCartney has produced some \u201cfish free\u201d king prawns!<\/p>\n

10.30 a.m.: Cold Call no. 2:
\n“This is an Insurance Company. What would you do if the sky fell down?”
\nMe: “You are trying to employ fear\u00a0 tactics. I am trying to eliminate fear from\u00a0my life!” (panicking at standing up to a Cold Caller).<\/p>\n

11 a.m. –\u00a0 Start work on a new baby chart.\u00a0 Receiving a text about a new baby being born \u2013 There is definitely some sort of baby boom going on.\u00a0 Babies are being born at a faster rate than I am able to do their charts\u2026<\/p>\n

11.30 a.m. \u2013 Cold Call no. 3:
\n“Hallo Mam (a call from Mumbai) I am phoning about your credit card”
\nMe: “I have never had a credit card”<\/p>\n

12 Noon – Break for lunch. A yoghurt designed to lower cholesterol<\/p>\n

1 p.m. – Resume work on said baby chart<\/p>\n

1.30 p.m. \u2013 Cold Caller no. 4 sounding like the same person as the 3rd call:
\n“Hallo Mam. \u00a0I am worried about your computer”
\n“Well I’m not” (I am actually, but I am not going to admit it to him)<\/p>\n

2 p.m. – Research the latest celebrity in the news just in case it is the hot topic next Sunday<\/p>\n

2.30 p.m. \u2013 Cold Call no. 5:
\n“Is that Lana?\u00a0 How are you today? \u00a0Are you aware that the government can\u00a0help you with Solar Panels?”
\nMe: “Thanks. I already have Solar Panels.\u00a0 Can you help me with my obsession with Wind Turbines?”<\/p>\n

Cold Caller: \u201cUh?\u00a0 That\u2019s not on the script\u201d<\/p>\n

3 p.m. – Daily Meditation<\/p>\n

3.30 p.m. \u2013 Cold Call no. 6:<\/p>\n

\u201cHello Lana, or can I call you Lan for short?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that Jade from the Apprentice?\u00a0 I can honestly understand why Sir Alan fired you\u2026And before you ask, I don\u2019t have a credit card or a computer you\u2019d be interested in, and I have Solar Panels.\u201d<\/p>\n

4 p.m. – Filing all the paperwork generated today<\/p>\n

4.30 p.m. \u2013 Tea and Cake<\/p>\n

5 p.m. – Research astrologically why so much paperwork was generated today<\/p>\n

6 p.m. – Cook a gourmet meal of fish free king prawn curry<\/p>\n

Hubby: \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I can\u2019t possibly \u2013 \u201c (rushes out to the kitchen to make himself a cheese sandwich)<\/p>\n

7 p.m. – Research why I received so many cold calls today.\u00a0 Thinks\u2026Might do a blog about researching.<\/p>\n

8 – 10 p.m. – Watch reality television (anything will do, I am a captive audience by then)<\/p>\n

10 p.m. – Retire to bed, pondering the reasons for unproductiveness\u2026<\/p>\n

[I am sure other Astrologers are more efficient and I would welcome suggestions for improvement!]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

~ A time and Motion Study [The Uranus-Pluto square is almost upon us and next week I will be putting on a suitable gruff voice.\u00a0 So I thought this week I would put on a hysterical falsetto voice\u2026] 8 a.m. – Arise and have breakfast, read the Guardian According to Sabra Ricci in \u201cLobster for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1711","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humour"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lanawooster.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1711","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lanawooster.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lanawooster.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lanawooster.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lanawooster.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1711"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lanawooster.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1711\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lanawooster.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1711"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lanawooster.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1711"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lanawooster.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1711"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}