Zodiac Masterclass Series – The Aries Guide to Authenticity!

Aries New Moon Mandala painted by Sarah Berry

Line Mandala from Mandala Colouring Book by Barry Stevens available at http://www.mandalas.freeserve.co.uk/colouringinbook.html

This is the fifth of an occasional series written about the expertise of each Sun Sign. I am still looking for the Capricorn who can write a guide to Ambition. The articles will be found under the category “Zodiac Masterclass” so that eventually there will be 12 such articles, e.g. “The Gemini Guide to Communication”, “The Leo Guide to Leadership”etc. by someone who has the Sun Sign in question.

Here guest blogger Deborah Wade lets us into the mysteries of being a straightforward Aries. As Aries is about individuality, we all in a sense need this process of becoming ourselves.

She is currently in that multitasking phase of her life known as motherhood-juggling-career, but combines left brain and right brain activity in an amazing way. I am glad for you to meet her!

A word about the mandala: I often give blue as a colour for Aries because it is the supreme balancing colour for their hotheadedness (Debs is an exception because of other factors in her chart). The fluorescent pink in the mandala represents the combination of red and white, both colours of the spiritual 1st Ray of Will and Power associated with Aries.

The Aries Guide to Authenticity

by Deborah Wade

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

˜  William Shakespeare

Who am I?

I’m a nearly 40 year old woman who has spent much of her life trying to be as unArian as possible. More on that later.

I divide my time as a Mum, a Software Engineer and a Bowen Therapist/Kinesiologist and I enjoy all of them. I have learned that I get bored quite easily and timeslicing and switching roles and activities works well for me. I also knit, spin wool, play the guitar and ride horses. I’ve also been known to paint the odd mandala.

What is authenticity?

To me this means walking your talk. Treading the path that feels like the right one.

The dictionary definitions include: undisputed credibility, genuine, real, free from pretense or hypocrisy, sincerity. The word “authenticity” comes from the Greek authentikos meaning author or origin.

Arian Authenticity

I am an Aries with Taurus ascending. You would think that with both Ram and Bull influencers and not a single water planet to be found in my chart that I would be strong a resilient and a leader of people and not in the least bit drawn to healing modalities. The truth is that these explosive, dominant and headstrong aspects only emerge when I am pressured. On the whole people find me to be balanced, gregarious, generous and philanthropic if a little tactless and unfluffy.

I have shared Arian experiences with other Rams and we concur that Aries tend to be actually fairly accepting of faults, mistakes and being given a hard time up to a point, but that is a point of no return and once this is passed the archetypal Aries explosiveness can be seen. That said, Aries tend not to bear grudges once the air has been cleared.

Most Arians don’t need a guide to authenticity; they need help in not being quite so authentic. Authenticity is all very well when it comes to following your own path, and the conversations and workings in your own internal world but when it breaks out into the wild then offense may ensue, albeit unintended.

I was visiting a good friend a few weeks ago and I complimented her on her awesome cardigan that she had crocheted herself. I particularly thought the colour suited her skin tones and I told her as much. She thanked me for my compliment and said how pleased she was that I liked it because I was personally responsible for the change in her wardrobe palette. I was reminded by her that over a year previously I had said that I liked her lime green top that she was wearing because it made a nice change from the dark browns and drab colours that I remember seeing her wearing!

I was of course mortified (but not totally surprised) at hearing my words repeated back to me. Those words, which could have been interpreted in a hurtful and unkind way, were not intended as such. My friend assured me that she hadn’t received them in that way and I wondered if it was as much a reflection of the temperament of the recipient as the deliverer. I don’t remember saying the exact words but I do remember thinking the thought. The problem with authenticity and Arians is that once a thought has occurred it’s pretty tricky to keep a lid on it.

And there you have it in a nutshell; the reason for the authenticity or more accurately, blatant tactlessness. We are quite straightforward uncomplicated people on the whole, and we expect the same from others. Deceit and untruths do really complicate life. This goes right from little white lies about how great your friend is looking in her new bright orange marshmallow dress right up to big blatant whoppers like lying on your tax return. Keeping track of what you said or what you didn’t say is pretty stressful. Better to be upfront and honest and then everyone knows where they stand.

I think it’s hardest for Aries to be Aries when they are children. As youngsters we are taught to be polite and speak when spoken to and do things we don’t want to. Aries are rebellious by nature and this when combined with childhood impetuousness makes for quite a difficult child to parent. I have always had a strong sense of ‘fairness’ on all sides and I think this is one of my primary drivers. Unfairness in any situation is something that does not sit comfortably with me. Unfortunately as a child lots of things don’t seem fair and on occasion I was left feeling quite hard done by.

In my early teens and with friendships both shallow and meaningful and through my dealings with teachers and relatives, what I learned as I grew up was one overwhelming message: “People like you better if you are nice”. It might occur to the sharp reader that this is very much at odds with being an authentic Aries. No matter, I didn’t really care about that at that point. Being nice opened doors, made situations easier and less stressful for all involved. On the inside I had to learn to swallow strongly negative thoughts and was careful not share insights I had that might upset others. I had to learn to integrate with humanity because teenagers are some of the cruelest and least tolerant people on the planet and standing out could have been social suicide. I wasn’t always successful on this front, my Arian tendencies to blurt out thoughts in my head would sometimes get in the way of being pleasant and unchallenging to people but on the whole this was how it was.

I carried this belief through University and my early career as a Software Analyst continuing to be overly nice to people but not respecting my own feelings or boundaries. I allowed boyfriends and friends to treat me badly and I forgave them. I eventually settled down in a cosy relationship with someone who I loved, there were frayings around the edges in this relationship but I glossed over them.

A changing point in my life in my late twenties was after being ill with a mystery illness for over a year I discovered a kinesiologist. She explained to me what my body had indicated the problem was (candida overgrowth) and what could be done about it. The treatment of candida did not just involve nutrition and diet, but also an extensive foray into Chinese traditional medicine, things called chakras and also examining many aspects of my way of being that I’d just never considered. Aries dive in with both feet when presented with a new challenge. I learned about boundaries in relationships and how it was actually OK to not put myself in a situation that I didn’t want to be in because I was no longer a child and could finally make my own choices. Quite a revelation, but in seemingly direct conflict with the ‘be nice to people’ lesson of my earlier life. To my surprise this approach worked brilliantly; it made me well again and gave me a thirst for more along the path of self-knowing.

I since trained in Kinesiology and I have met and helped many people with all sorts of issues but one of the things that comes through is that if you are living or repetitively behaving in a way that is at odds with your true self then it will manifest as some sort of malaise, be it physical, emotional or mental. This has helped me to make peace with the awkward and tactless inner Aries. This persona is trying in its way to help me to stay well by keeping me on the path made by my own paradigm for life.

How I came to blend these too oppositional concepts ‘be nice’ and ‘be true to yourself’, well I’m still working on it but I am getting there, slowly but surely.

For further information about Deborah’s work:

info@CambridgeBowen.co.uk http://cambridgebowen.co.uk/