Zodiac Masterclass Series – A Libran Guide to Relationships

Libra New Moon Mandala painted by Sarah Berry
Line Mandala from Mandala Colouring Book by Barry Stevens
available at http://www.mandalas.freeserve.co.uk/colouringinbook.html

This is the tenth piece in an occasional series written about the expertise of each Sun Sign. I may still be looking for the Capricorn (I am not sure if I have one or not) who can write a guide to Ambition, but at long last I have found a Libran who has written the guide to Relationships. If you think you might be the Capricorn I am looking for, please get in touch.  Or alternatively if you should know the ideal person.  I have got my eye on someone, but haven’t got the courage to ask yet.  The articles will be found under the category “Zodiac Masterclass” so that eventually there will be 12 such articles, e.g. “The Libran Guide to Relationships”, “The Capricorn Guide to Ambition”,”The Pisces Guide to Compassion” etc. Each article will be written by someone who has the Sun Sign in question.

Please meet Sue Hudson. I have only got to know her recently. She first caught my attention about 15 years ago in a queue at a parents evening. We must have only exchanged a few words but I was arrested by her one-liners. She is a lovely Libran and she and her Leo husband make a vibrant couple. Fast forward to July this year and I had a Eureka lightbulb moment (more in the sense of how many astrologers does it take to change one, than Archimedes running dripping in the street from his bath). I had been looking for 9 months for a Libran to write the Masterclass for this sign and here was the perfect person! Not only was she classically Libran, but she had been with her Leo since they were young. Imagine my surprise when I asked her (still trembling from the aforementioned Eureka lightbulb moment) if she would do it and she told me she  actually teaches relationships!

A word about the mandala: I use the colour blue for the sign of Libra, coming as it does between the green of Virgo and the indigo of Scorpio, and fortuitously Sarah’s mandala is blue.

RELATIONSHIPS LIBRAN AND LEO STYLE

By Sue Hudson

We enter into the world of social relationships from birth; and in Psychology the primary debate argued would be: are we the product of our genes or our environment?  Psychologists would argue that it is this very early relationship with our primary carer which acts as a blueprint for all later social and romantic relationships.  Being a Libran and having been married for the past 29 years one wonders why this marriage has survived when according to statistics one in four fail to!  Without being complacent, this piece will give some insight into why I feel that it has.  Whilst accepting that relationships are important and necessary for social beings, it’s also accepted that at times they are not easy!  Therefore, it is considered impossible to offer anyone guidance in making a relationship work especially when, if as psychologists argue, the early attachment figure does indeed have an affect on all other future relationships.  Arguably Psychology has much to offer with regards to helping couples having difficulties in relationships, and the first observation into why relationships work or fail is that relationship therapists sometimes make a great deal of money out of arguing couples, not by advising them on how to make their relationship work, but by encouraging communication.  Therefore, being an individual who never has any trouble expressing their feelings, perhaps this relationship has survived 29 years because of that.

Having accomplished something that seems for many very difficult, this will give written testimony into how this Libran has managed to survive in what has been at best a very heartfelt and supportive relationship, whilst at worst it has been turbulent!  Astrologers write that Librans are lovers of beauty, harmony and balance, and it is without doubt that this is true in the case of this Libran.  However, beauty comes in many forms and being respected, listened to and being made to laugh have been the important variables within this relationship, not material things.  I do, however, wear my heart on my sleeve and have never had any concerns about communicating my feelings, both positive and negative, and at times with too much honesty!

Perhaps in our society today many expect too much, and couples have swallowed what some might perceive as the American Dream, that all that glitters is gold; therefore if something loses its sparkle then abandon it!  Perhaps couples have to struggle sometimes to really appreciate what they have got.  This relationship has survived struggling financially and emotionally, mainly because we were a married couple for such a short period of time before we had our first child.  During the 1980s I felt that marriage and having children were all I wanted, and this may have stemmed from the fact that at 11 years old I lost a parent, and for me ‘family’ was never really quite the same again.  It was because of this I feel that, at times of difficulty within our relationship, the children would always have been put first, and if things went wrong it was never as easy as just ending the relationship – mainly because what we both realized was that we had security and a happy family atmosphere for the children, and in hindsight this was obtained sometimes at detriment to our own feelings.

It could be argued that perhaps we both forgot for a time that we were a young couple too; we concentrated on looking after the children and in working to support the family, through a very difficult time financially in the 1980s.  Perhaps there were times when we both made no effort at tall to tell each other how special they were.  However, looking back, I think we both knew instinctively that we cared, and although hearts and flowers would have been nice, they’re not particularly important when finances are tight.  I often think about spending time in Cheshire with an uncle of mine when the children were small – it happened to be my husband’s birthday and I failed to give him a gift!  I remember my uncle saying that in all the times he was married to my aunt they never failed to give a gift to each other, no matter how small!  I remember feeling really mean, and in a way accepted that he was right: gifts don’t need to be large expensive gestures – it’s the thought that counts!  Whilst in Cheshire my husband and I took the children into the town, and I remember buying him a tool for his toolbox and he was more than happy with it; he wasn’t at all worried that he had to choose his gift, in fact considering our lack of finances it was the most sensible option.   However, neither of us has ever not bothered to get a gift again since!  On that holiday I can also remember laughing a lot, buying a blow up giraffe for my daughter and singing a very silly song on the way home in the car.  So in the early days of our relationship the focus was on being good parents and role models, and this is what kept the relationship going.

By the end of the 1990s the children were becoming settled and much more independent, and our roles as parents were changing; we wanted them to experience life and encouraged them to do the things we had never been given the chance to do.  I felt I lost my identity for a while, and felt I didn’t have a role any more.  So I decided to go back to education and enrolled on a degree course.  Through the three years of studying I was always supported and encouraged, variables which I feel further contributed to a lasting relationship.

Finally, where are we now nearly 30 years later?  Both working, too hard I sometimes feel, and with very different types of stresses to deal with.  We have things now which we couldn’t afford then, in fact things we didn’t even think about then.  We’re both still very family orientated and for us this will remain constant.  We will celebrate our 30^th wedding anniversary next year, and also the marriage of our eldest child.  We are also finding ourselves being a couple again, and enjoying doing things together as such.  In conclusion, then, it is felt that Librans are the thoughtful, balanced sign of the Zodiac who do appreciate beauty, adoration and honesty, but who also accept that these come in many different forms.  Librans also love harmony, but are also not frightened of conflict as long as this brings resolution, and with a lion on side, who could go wrong?